the date

i know that no one reads this blog but i post here because i can in the off chance that i get a follower and i still post as if i had followers so what i say is restricted to what i want people to know about me and i guess it is for my own enjoyment than anything else fuckk im turning in to an attention whore online

with that said

the date went amazing well nothing too special happened it started off slow and awkward over a cup of coffee it wasn't too well planed but i couldn't think of any where better so we ended up going to the food court coffee depot all 5 tables were full and we ended up finding a seat with the rest of the food court and shyly trying to get a good conversation going and a lot of fiddling with coffee cups lol (i burnt my tong too -_-) you have to remember this is the first time we met in person online we have conversations that last hours we ate some light food while still makeing atempted small talk after which we went to the movies and bought tickets for inception (it was an ok movie) but we had an hour and a half to kill so we went for a walk and endedup in a book store this helped alot we were able to loosen up considerably joking about books sharing intrests etc when we got to the movies we both kept making jokes related to the internet for the first half i was working up the courage to grab her hand i kept saying to my self at the next cigarette burn( the big black spot on the upper right side of the screen it marks when the projectionist is supposed to switch reels) unfortunately my left arm sometimes looses circulation when i set in one spot too long and i kept trying to get it going again because my hand was cold lol then i decided to say fuck it and grab her hand and she excepted it so easily for the rest of the time we sat holding hands and it was so nice (its been along time since ive had such a good date so sue me if it seems not like a big deal because it is ) afterwords we hugged a few times and parted at the metro stop

im so glad i did grab her hand because thats what made the whole thing feel like a success for one it did a massive boost to my self confidence and too it made the night feel so much more relaxed ive never felt so comfortable around anoter person before and i couldn't stop smiling all night long i still cant lol i assume this is what joy feels like remember me and emotions arent very well known i may even be shading my shell of lonesomeness that been part of my life for so long that its just part of me and part of how i thought every one was but its amazing i can almost fell the release of endorphins